The moot point is that love, especially eternal love, is a highly overrated emotion. The kind of love every artist portrays and every lay person dreams about is essentially transient; not meant to last forever. Let’s face it – the only bell I hear ringing when I kiss my wife is the doorbell; there is certainly no thunderous flash of lightning unless the falling of the utensils in the kitchen can be mistaken for one. The process of being comfortable with a person, of understanding and complementing a person is mistaken for love.

True love as portrayed in the arts does exist, albeit in a transient mode. I definitely remember certain intense phases of my life where the world revolved around a single girl (or a not-single woman). A sideways glance and half a smile was enough to send me in raptures of ecstasy. That flip flop in the stomach; the heady feeling; the insane desire to climb mountains and pluck stars for your sweetheart are all a part of this emotions. But such feelings don’t last; are not meant to last. The joy and therein the tragedy lies in the brief window of time where we are exposed to love. Our best arts are a reflection of what we most desire. Implicit is the fact that we most desire those things which we can’t or don’t have. Once you get your love, it cannot be desired anymore and hence transforms into a comfortable or an acrimonious relationship.

Haven’t all of us experienced true love during our lives? YES. And maybe more than once in a lifetime. The fortunate amongst us have experienced and lost it thereby retaining the charm of love. The not so fortunate amongst us have experienced it and hoping to keep it for eternity, watch it slowly wither away in the humdrum of daily life. The tantalizing possibility of what could be is what keeps the fortunate amongst us in love with love and promotes paeans to the emotion of love. But can you seriously envisage Romeo-Julit, Shirin-farhad, Heer Ranjha surviving eternally the profaneness of everyday mundane life?

Love is a beautiful emotion, to be enjoyed while it exists and to be savoured with a tinge of joyful nostalgia and single malt when it is not. You can’t hold a beautiful rose in your hand and expect it to stay forever. It withers away and dies. Same is the case with true love

As human kind progressed, the club gave way to the mighty sword and the mightier pen. Complex courtship rituals evolved with men rushing in to make bigger fools of themselves in order to woo the fair damsel. Wars were fought, great monuments built, kingdom signed away in this male madness. Off course not everyone was successful and unrequited love found expressions in great literature and works of art.

I seriously rue for the loss of the earliest version of courtship. This chivalry thing is a bit too obtuse and time consuming for my liking. The feint followed by flanking attack is for others – I prefer a direct frontal assault, an invitation to dinner and breakfast kind. There is infinite variety to the basic theme of courting, each one more interesting than other. My last courtship needs to be recounted for its sheer audacity and chutzpah. .

We all were defence officers undergoing a course. Defence officers are a disciplined, hot blooded lot given to passions easily. And yes – some defence officers are women! A couple of weeks into the course and I asked her out to a movie – she accepted. At that stage and age, there are no feints . Her consent to the movie was an implicit consent and both of us knew it. The moot question was – how to break the ice? The thrill was two fold – as defence officers, we could get court martialled and as a married individual, we could get prosecuted under the Indian Penal Code. Funny how the sinful and the taboo is the most enjoyable…..Forbidden fruits are most delicious.

After the movie – dinner. As we sipped our Shiraz and nibbled on the hors d oeuvre, I made the move. Clutching my head, I exclaimed “Oh God – its happening again”.  She inquired what and walked right into the kill zone. Innocently explained that I had a medical condition which needs immediate oral ingestion of complex proteins. “The last time I was afflicted I had to spend 3 days in bed at a friend’s place” I added.   “ I am sure there must be some medicine you can take?” she inquired. I informed her that this protein was not available off the shelf since it was more organic in nature. “So how do get this protein?” she sounded bewildered. “It’s of human origin” I exclaimed triumphantly.

I could not have the luxury of being bedridden for 3 days. Next day I had to get up early to sneak out of her room and be in time for the morning case study.

Right from childhood, I have been a connoisseur of cats – both the two legged and four legged variety. Forty years down the line including twenty years of marriage, my fascination still persists albeit only for the four legged variety.

We have one in the house – a spoilt tomcat whose only interest in life is sleeping, eating and chasing insects. And yes – he allows you to scratch his ears when he wants them scratched or when he feels you have been good enough to deserve the privilege.

Last night, we discovered that a rat has chosen our house as his abode. Obviously the rat found it to his liking since he was merrily prancing around. Spunky – our cat- sniffed the rat’s trail curiously, raised an eye st us reprimanding us for keeping a sloppy house and promptly went back to sleep. Obviously, chasing rats is not one of his passions in life. He is a cuddly furry cat who relishes his Whiskas and sleep.

And I  love him insanely and unconditionally. He jumps on me when I am fast asleep, he breaks crystal, he spoils the leather sofa, he sits in front of the screen when i am typing the most important email – I don’t grudge him anything. He has my permission to do anything if it pleases him and makes him happy.

After his reprimand regarding the rat in my house, I started thinking as to why I love him so much. For all practical purposes, he serves no specific purpose in my life. I definitely don’t love my wife unconditionally or insanely, even the love for my kids is bound by certain expectation and desire for keeping my genes immortal. Honestly speaking, I am incapable of loving any human being unconditionally. But this brat cat can do whatever he wants and I will still love him. Why?

The surprising answer is that I have no expectation from my relationship with the cat. I love him for what he is and nothing more. There are no ego issues, no element of control involved in our relationship. His reprimanding eyes do not strike at the core of my existence nor does my shooing him away makes him feel unwanted. Do I do him a favour by feeding and sheltering him? I never think of it that way and in any case, he provides me immense joy by his very existence, by his being around me. It is not a dominate-subjugate relationship, its and independent, free and co existing relationship.

My lament is – why can’t I have a relationship like that with another human being?

Such examples are abundant in our daily life also. For example, the teacher who lowers the standard of question paper for the lowest rung of student to pass is guilty of this act too!  Recently, I came across an interesting explanation of working for the interest of larger group. The proponent quoted Asimov’s Zeroth Law of Robotics.  Now there was a phase in my life when the world was divided in two distinct halves – people who read Asimov and people who did not! People who read Asimov had the capacity for creative and lateral thinking whereas people who did not were plain wimps. For the uninitiated     (and I no longer consider non Asimov readers to be wimps) the Zeroth Law was laid down after a particular robot faces the million dollar dilemma – whether to obey the extant law and prevent harm to an individual or to use his positronic brains innovatively and prevent harm to humanity by sacrificing the individual. The Zeroth Law empowers the robot to act for the greater good of humanity. So, the proponent said, if Asimov could propagate the Zeroth law, there obviously is nothing wrong in acting for the greater good of humanity at the expense of a few individuals. I have only one observation – the last time an individual seriously sacrificed himself at the altar of greater good, it was 2010 years ago. And frankly speaking it wasn’t a bad deal – a few days of torture and crucification in exchange for immortality!

Me – I believe in good old fashioned capitalist value sans hypocrisy and the need to hide behind wimpy excuses. If we all work for our individual good, we – by and large- work for collective good also. And I am not eager to donate my hard work and intelligence for the sake of the undeserving indolent.

 Like any 46 year old father, I used to frown upon my teenage brats watching MTV Roadies. This was until the jungle bug hit me – yes, I am referring to the latest show on Sony – Is Jungle Se Mujhe Bachao. I was aware of the fact that it’s a straight lift off from a Star TV English show. But I tune in regularly at 10 PM since I am partial to Fiza, one of the contestants. At 46, wives develope a passive acceptance for their husbands’ proclivity to ogle, so she also joins in and it became a sort of family watching time.

 Having made my confession, I would like to comment on the positives of the show and these are probably valid for other reality shows as well. The plus point of the show is that it telecasts all the manipulations, alliance forming, backstabbing and bitching amongst the participants in its naked glory. And the harsh fact is that these manipulations for advantage and power are a part of everyone’s real life. By exposing my brats to the same in reel life where one can watch the cause – effect relationship in the relative comfort of the drawing room, I am confident that I am accelerating their growth in life. Understanding the ways of their world will help them succeed in their adult life. I am not debating on morality here. The bitter fact is that the Machiavellian machinations do exist in real life and if the child gets vicarious lessons about it, it’s beneficial for him/her. I did not make the world or the society we live in neither do I have any control over its unwritten rules. And if a Reality show helps my children learn these rules earlier on and in comparative safety of the drawing room, I guess it’s welcome.

There was a huge article in TOI wondering why India is ‘tom-tomming’ the launch of a nuclear submarine which will become fully operational only by 2011. My retort is – why not? As an Indian, I am justifiably proud of my country developing and mastering a sophisticated technology available with a select few nations. Secondly, International relations are a bit peculiar. The fact that India had been building a nuclear submarine was known to most nations years before the formal launch of INS Arihant. With the launch, the calculation matrix of our potential adversaries has got a trifle more complicated. India has indicated that the submarine will be operational by 2011. But, if circumstances demand, can India do it earlier? How does an adversary counter the deployment of India’s nuclear submarine? Perhaps 2011 is too optimistic and the sub may not be operational by then. However, can a potential adversary take a chance? Thirdly, naval ships and submarines have traditionally showcased the might and technological advances of a nation. India’s global standing has increased dramatically with the launch of INS Arihant. Lastly, apart from the launch of indigenous submarine, the leasing of Russian Akula II nuclear submarine is also proceeding at a fairly rapid pace.

In short, India has arrived or on the verge of arriving as a major global power and tom tomming is definitely called for! Critics may point out to the skeletons tumbling out of defense closet – wrong acquisitions, human rights violations, charges of corruption etc. These are by no means condonable. But these critics could do well by studying the history of US military to understand the fact that on a broader canvas, a military power gradually fumbles its way to the position of global eminence. No military can learn all its lessons overnight – and we have every reason to be proud of our military achievements.

Today’s newscast was especially depressing. A sting operation on the junior telecom minister which confirmed what the whole of India already knows – that corruption exists in high places. Then we had Buta Singh’s son caught in a bribery case.  Another sting operation at Sourav’s – a restaurant owned by Sourav Ganguly where bargirls were caught on camera, dancing to entice customers. And finally, we had Imraan Hashmi of serial kissing fame going public with a fact which again is well known – muslims are discouraged from owning a house in most societies.

Enough reasons to feel depressed I guess…. But wait – there was something even more depressing- the brazen denial of the facts by the very people caught red handed. The Telecom minister said that he did not know Ms Gayatri, the Jt secretary of his party. Buta Singh cried ‘Political conspiracy’ over his son getting caught. A very relaxed and confident Ganguly was seen talking to the press and asking them to wait till the police inquiry was over. All powerful men, smug in their belief that their power will shield them from any repercussions. I sometimes feel that India is still a feudal state where the whims and fancies of the Rajahs run amok. Only the Rajahs have been replaced by someone equally powerful and maybe more sinister!

Finally about Imraan Hashmi – poor fellow was clobbered by Shahnawaz Hussain for being a serial kisser and therefore not a muslim, by Shatrughan Sinha who accused him of publicity stunt and by the secretary of the Housing Society who accused him of being too much of a celebrity. Excommunicated by a fellow muslim as being a non muslim and denied a house because of being a muslim!! It’s a situation Joseph Heller would be proud to write about!

Isn’t there something called the Truth anymore? Can camera footage of guilt be so easily swept under the carpet? And these are 4 high profile instances – there must be millions of such cases of corruption, abuse of power, racial/religious/ethnic discrimination happening in our country everyday.

ye daaG daaG ujaalaa, ye shab_gaziidaa sahar
wo intazaar thaa jis kaa, ye wo sahar to nahii.n

These lines by Faiz seem to sum up the despondency………

But there is a silver lining, a ray of hope, the emergence of the proverbial hero to cleanse the system. It’s not an individual but an institution – the Media. Today, the media is fast becoming the lathi of the common Indian, an institution which, despite or because of its narrow interest in TRP, speaks the language of the people. I feel that in case my country is to improve, the media has a challenging role to play in the process.

As a human being, I hold multiple identities simultaneously. I am a retired naval officer, an out of work executive, a henpecked husband and a doting father. I am from X course of NDA, Y Squadron and belong to Nagpur etc etc. I can think of numerous affiliations to derive my specific identity BUT all my roles and identities are subservient to a core, basic, irrefutable one – I am an INDIAN – foremost and always. And it pains me to see fellow countrymen squabble over and parade their narrower identities for personal or political interests.

Prof Sabherwal was murdered in Sep 06 in the city of Ujjain. The country was shocked into witnessing the sordid crime live on their TV sets home. After a lot of hue and cry, the assailants were arrested and charged with murder. Today, they walk free after the Nagpur High Court acquitted them for want of proper evidence and poor case preparation by the prosecution.

As an Indian and a rational human being, killing is an anathema to me. Killing of a professor over narrow political causes is thus even more distasteful, dastardly and blasphemous act. On a national TV debate regarding the issue, we had a strident defender of the accused stating that the Professor was not killed but died of natural causes, spewing venom and espousing her parochial view of politics. Despite the prophecy of kalyug , I still regard teaching as a noble profession and a Guru as a demigod. The fact that this defender of the killers was a woman Professor shows the abysmal state of our quest for narrow personal and political gains. And we have the Chief Minister of the state where this heinous crime was committed lauding the release of the accused in media!

The Professor’s case for some reason has not sparked the furore and debate akin to say Jessica Lal. Neither has the media taken up the case with the same fervour. Is it because because espousing this cause will not increase the TRP anymore? Perhaps the Jessica Lal case was about privileged vs the non privileged whereas this case is against the workers of the ruling party in the state! Are we to assume that the “Indian- ness” of the people of the state is subservient to their narrow political views?

Whatever may be the case, it seems that no one killed Prof Sabherwal after all. Or is it that each one of us is guilty of his murder by accepting a system which condones it?

During the last few days we have been treated to the spectacle of Mr. Varun Gandhi’s speech in his constituency and his clarifications thereon, ad nauseam.

As a cynical and passive observer of the Indian political scene, I feel amazed at the flagrant doublespeak of Varun and BJP. If the errant scion of Gandhi family did not deliver the ‘alleged’ speech, why couldn’t he set the records straight in unequivocal terms stating that those are not his convictions? Instead, he chose to clarify parts of that rabble rousing speech which were particularly offensive whilst retaining the core essence of Hindutva ( I am a proud Hindu etc). His clarifications were a juvenile and amateurish attempt at refuting the legal charges for Election Commission’s consumption, placating the media and people at the national level to appear moderate whilst retaining the Hindutva essence of his speech for the grass root workers in his constituency.

Varun Gandhi is just following the classic ruse adopted by BJP as a political entity. At the national level, the party projects a moderate face whilst at the grassroots level; it still promotes divisive communal politics for garnering votes. Isn’t it interesting to see that the only BJP leaders of national stature who have condemned the speech happen to be of Muslim origin! And I daresay they did it not because they are decent people but because they are worried about their vote bank. Others including Advani have conveniently kept quiet or sidestepped the issue. Isn’t it time our political leadership dealt with real issues like economy, growth, terrorism, infrastructure etc rather than play footsie with vote banks?

Lest anyone brand me as a blogger of left/centre/ right leanings, let me assure you that I have no love lost for the genre of politicians – be it of any hue and colour. I am a firm believer of the fact that the country has been badly let down by our political masters right since we gained independence. And if the political leadership has let the country down, a major portion of the blame lies with the middle class and the intelligentsia – THAT IS YOU AND ME for not participating actively in the process of democracy. We have deluded ourselves to think that we are too busy or the process is below our stature to get involved in!

Recession is biting! And amidst home budget belt tightening, the mistress of the house decreed that my extravagant book buying budget is to be slashed to zero with immediate effect! Funny thing this globalization – some wise guy in Lehman Brothers attempts to subvert the system in America and poor me is deprived of books to read…. Being a wise and domesticated husband, I did not dare ask my wife if her exorbitant cosmetic budget had been pruned.

Reading is an addiction. Deprived of my daily fix of mental stimulation, I reached out in desperation to the children’s stack of books. And, in the process, stumbled upon a trilogy by Jonathan Stroud about this genie and his young master. The books are ‘The Amulet of Samarkand’, ‘The Golem’s Eye’ and ‘Ptolemy’s Gate’.

I have happily avoided reading all of JK Rowling, smug in the self –belief that children’s book are juvenile. My idea of kid’s book stemmed from the Enid Blyton’s I had read eons ago. ‘The Amulet of Samarkand’ was a pleasant surprise. To begin with, the language used by Jonathan is crisp, elegant and lucid. The second part I liked is the sheer simplicity of the plot – good isgood and bad is bad. No moral dilemma to judge, no grey areas to navigate gingerly about. The best part about the book is that it seamlessly blends the myths and fairy tales of yore with the contemporary world. The hero is a minister in UK government. This modern setting does not make you feel that you are reading the typical archaic children’s book of hero–slays-the-fire-eating–dragon type.

The most amazing character of the series is Bartimaeus, the genie. The story about djinns and how to control them is a central part of oriental folklores. As a child, I remember being told all about drawing a circle in a graveyard and staying within it for 40 days and night to be able to exercise power over djinn. In Jonathan Stroud books, our young magician hero has control over thousand year old djinn called Bartimaeus. The genie’s character is sketched out very nicely – naughty, with a great sense of humour, wicked and a tad sentimental. Aladdin’s djinn is servile whereas Bartimaeus has a mind of his own. His ranting and raving, his humour and benign wickedness are amazingly original. The book is narrated in first person in parts – some bits by the genie and some by the hero. This helps the reader in identifying with the character very well.  I can very well imagine Eddie Murphy as the quasi cartoon character of Bartimaeus in a Hollywood movie. After a series of sinister plots, our young magician hero emerges victorious with the formidable help of his genie friend.

There can be sober parallels drawn between these stories and the real world but I deliberately desisted from this intellectual exercise. The books are meant to be enjoyable reading by children and I wanted to enjoy them at that level. After a series of rather drab, brilliant books by award winning authors which leave you drained at the end, this one keeps you riveted by its action, simplicity and comedy. In the end, it leaves a warm, fuzzy glow and the positive feeling that heroism and romance is not dead. A must read for all adults who have got accustomed to a cynical, descriptive, blurred morals diet. These books are fun with no pretensions about dealing with a broad socio- historical canvas or depicting depressing reality. And no – I am NOT regressing with age!